Logan/Wolverine (claws_of_rage) wrote,

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WARNING!: This is NOT happy fuzzy stuff here. It is quite brutal in fact in an emotional way. He's got shit to get off his chest that's been stewing a while and well that's just what he is doing. Again, if you think your muse is going to be effected by his bluntness and his feelings you probably shouldn't read this.

The nightmares were back, I tossed and turned, barely aware of someone snuggling against me, kissing along my jaw to calm me. Soon as I landed in Japan I sought out enough sake to even give me a headache, a fight and some company for later. Fuck was it hard finding someone that didn't have black hair in this place. Her hair was dark brown, kinda like mahogany I guess, but itw as obviously fake. I didn't care, not like I was looking to really get to know her.

She had been the entertainment at a gentleman's establishment. Guess that's the nice way of saying she was a stripper. Young, nice body, obvious boob inhancement. Again, didn't care. What was a surprise was that little girl was a little ball of fire in the sack. She actually liked the rough shit I did to her and gave it back. Maybe Japan was going to be good for me. Eventually though the little thing wore herself out, I was still good to go but I figured what the hell, enjoyed a ciagr and some more sake before dozing off.

That's were the tossing and jerking came in. Didn't feel the warm little body nestled against me anymore, just the cold of water and the smells that only come from a lab. The pain that accompanied was still there and the whispers I heard. Soon her cute little coo's turned to screams when the claws made theirselves known. She dashed out of the bed so fast I ended up with her foot crushing into my stomach. Think I heard the words "fucking freak" thrown my way, but I was half asleep and it was in Japanese so I could be mistaken. She rushed to half put her clothes on before diving out the door.

Chuckling I rubbed the heels of my palms against my eyes. Didn't have time to relax, she'd be blabbing soon and I'd have a lynch mob waitin' on me. I quickly got up, pulling my jeans on and my old leather brown jacket. Left the bike in L.A, be damned if I carried sentimental shit with me anywhere. The truck was old, worn down and pretty much dilapitated. What do you know, we have a lot in common, think it gives us character though.

Grumbling I pat my hands over the dash until my fingers rest on a cigar. I made a little half awake happy grunting noise as I snipped the end off and brought the cigar to my lips, lighting up with one hand, starting the truck with the other. Really wish I had time to take a shower, that girl was wearing some insanely over flowery perfume. Jasmine. It was familiar but I didn't spend too much time lingering on the thought.

I drove, again, things popped out at me. Didn't care though, I was here for a change of scenery and that was it. Who the hell knew where I'd go next. But I'm beginning to think that maybe this was a little stupid on my part. Everywhere I look, long raven hair mocked me. I grit my teeth and growled.

So I kept driving, the throng of people getting thinner and thinner. Flipped the radio on, surprised it worked at all. My fingers curled around the wheel and I sighed, relaxing. Wonder if she still has that dog. I quickly get rid of that thought. Adam tried to call me, said something was wrong with her, he could feel it. I growled, cursed him up one way and down the other and then hung up on him.

I was trying to forget her, wanted to so damned desperately. She moved on to that fucking hippy looking vampire motherfucker. My only regret is that I didn't get the chance to beat the shit out of her meddling hypocritical mother. How could someone so warm as Selene come from someone so cold and bitter. Then my second question is how the hell did Selene's old man's dick not freeze off during conception. And then I immediately get a little nauseated. I've come to believe that Selene's dad liked to drink, probably as much as me. Therefore, I like the guy. Must be where Selene got her personality from.

Shoulda left her alone, let Kurt have a go at her, poor guy was obviously crushing on her from the get go. Adam.. he was a good kid but honestly, I woulda killed him had I had to share her much longer. What the hell was I thinking I am not the type to share what is mine. But then again, she never was truly mine. I don't allow myself to wonder what she's doing now. I do entertain thoughts that maybe that guy she's with will contract some sort of mysterios vampiric cancer that only the males get and die and slow horrible death. I hate him, god do I hate him.

And on some level if I'm honest with myself, I hate her too. I don't care about all this shit that I was being fed about it was where she belonged. What the fuck ever, she belonged with me. She found me as nothing more than an animal, and it was because of her I became a man. To be with her. How quickly she forgot all that. I should of stayed the way I was, at least then I didn't feel pain. I didn't know heartache. This is something a healing factor can't even repair.

I don't forgive her, not at all. She left me and no matter what she says she did it callously. For my own good my ass. It's done me a helluva lot of good. I've turned into a cold son of a bitch. I don't want to see her again, I don't want her to haunt my dreams or my thoughts. I don't want to remember what she smelt like, the feel of her hands, the sound of her laugh. I don't want to remember any of it. I just want it to go away and leave me in fucking peace!

Maybe I am an abomination, but at least I don't rip peoples lives apart.

"Way to go Amelia, you taught her well."
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